Ulquiorra
by Kyrial Halcoryn
Summary: ...this doesn't look like heaven.' L hadn't expected an afterlife. He certainly hadn't expected it to begin with being chained to his killer... again. And he hadn't expected it to end quite the way it did, either... The story of the arrancar Ulquiorra.
1. Chapter 1: Obsessed

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Another new fanfiction. Sigh. I really should finish off things I start *_coughBlackHolesandHeroescough_* but I had to get this down... The success of the first chapter will determine how often updates get done. Please, enjoy!

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**Ulquiorra.**

**Blurb: **"...this doesn't look like heaven." L hadn't expected an afterlife. He certainly hadn't expected it to begin with being chained to his killer... _again_. And he hadn't expected it to end quite the way it did, either... The story of Lawliet, Beyond and the arrancar known otherwise as Ulquiorra Schieffer.

**Warning: **Spoilers for the whole Death Note and Bleach series. If you haven't read them, Google right now, and have fun.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or Bleach (apart from the stuff used to clean the toilet), nor do I own a Death Note (or, indeed, even a computer). The Shinigami's Handbook, though, was my idea (though probably more than one person has thought of that idea already). Don't sue me.

**Written To: **Sam's Town, The Killers; Spaceman, The Killers; Read My Mind, The Killers. Just a _little_ bit obsessed here, aren't we, Kyr?

_

* * *

__Obsessed spirit: a 'plus' spirit with regrets which are attached to a certain person. They are distinguished by the Chain of Fate, attached to the focus of their regrets in the same manner as an earthbound spirit (cref: _Chained Spirits_). If left, the Chain of Fate will pull at the spirit's heart, which will eventually rip and come away completely from the body, causing the spirit to become a hollow (cref: _Hollow_)._

_-The Shinigami's Handbook_

_

* * *

_

The first time I died was when Light finally brought me to my knees. I still remember it quite clearly; he had a strange expression on his face for that one second.

A mixture of emotions; triumph, joy – but also, less expected, sorrow and anguish flickered across his face in that split-second, before the two last took over and were added by fear.

_He is Kira.. I was right… _

It seemed almost ironic that the moment I realised was the moment I knew for certain I was about to die. And since I was dying, and Light had not made any visible movement for the notebook, that left Rem and Misa Amane, although it was debatable as to why exactly the reaper would put my name in the notebook. Perhaps she had wanted to save Light and/or Misa's lives, although why exactly a creature whose nature was to live by killing would want to save a human was a moot point…

Either way… that meant that the 13-day time limit on the Death Note would be incorrect. _Is it possible to write down incorrect rules in the Death Note?_

Another thought occurred to me. With my death, it seemed likely that the title of L would go to Light, since neither Mello nor Near had been chosen as my successors. They would have to work together in order to bring down Kira, something I personally found highly unlikely… which meant that the Kira investigation would be seriously impeded, or, indeed, halted by the prescence of Light, who would almost certainly be running the whole thing.

Then I realised I was still there. Next to Light. Except now I was chained to him again, and he was crouched over my body as the rest of the room was in chaos.

"...this doesn't look like heaven."

I had no idea what this meant, the chain coming from my chest tangled around his body, shackling me to him again.

"Light?" I reached out to touch him. Unsurprisingly, my hand passed straight through, confirming my postulation that I could no longer directly interact with the world any more.

"We're next," Light said, looking up, anguished. "Watari, Ryuuzaki… now us."

* * *

They rang an ambulance. Couldn't save me. My heart had already stopped by the time they arrived. They had difficulty with me; there were awkward questions due to my lack of identification, and the fact they didn't know my real name.

In the end, I became the equivalent of John Doe.

Just another name to be called by, after all. I had enough of them.

* * *

Light rode in the ambulance with me on the way to the hospital by himself. I had no other choice but to come with him. One thing I discovered quickly was that attempting to separate from Light was painful, and resulted in the chain starting to pull away from my chest. It limited my movement dramatically, meaning I had to be within a five-foot radius of Light in order for the chain to stop tugging. Attempting to untangle myself from him, apparently, did nothing except tangle it up even more, losing myself another foot's worth of chain.

That night, I sat next to Light as he slept restlessly at home. He kept muttering my name, disjointed words that suggested the grip of a nightmare. It felt strange, to watch him in this way again; something I'd often done when I had been unable to sleep before.

"_Huh."_

I looked up to see a humanoid creature. However, it could not be considered in any way human, with widespread black wings, matted black hair, blue skin, bright orange eyes that protruded from their sockets. If anything, it resembled a zombie, I thought, as it tilted its head to inspect me, a grin across its face.

"You're another shinigami?" I asked.

It made a strange noise – _hyuk, hyuk _– that was probably laughter._ "You could call me that."_

"Indeed." I paused for a second, since this creature seemed to be a relation to the other reaper, Rem, and therefore probably untrustworthy. However, there didn't seem to be anyone else I could talk to right now… other than Light. And he wouldn't even be able to hear me.

Light turned over in his sleep, murmuring something under his breath that sounded something like "…zaki…"

"I don't suppose you'd happen to know any way for me to get free?" I asked him eventually.

He shook his head._ "None that you could use right now."_

I considered this. This implied that if there _was _an object that could break, remove or destroy this chain, it was either not within reach right now, or I was unable to physically interact with it. And I had never bothered to practise the act of breaking a taut metal chain with my bare hands; I was a genius and a detective, amongst other things, but not a karate master. Or, I could remove the chain forcibly, and go with the consequences that went with that, which would probably be extremely painful and therefore undesirable. I'd leave that as a last resort, then.

"What's your name?"

"_Ryuk."_

It sounded suitable for the creature currently stood in front of me. Rough.

"Why do you follow him?"

He shrugged. _"I dropped my notebook. He just happened to be the one who found it, so I have to wait."_

"Until?"

"_Until he dies. Then I can take it back."_

I felt a chill. "You're just… waiting for him to die?"

"_More or less."_

I frowned at this logic. The shinigami, supposed and self-proclaimed 'god of death', was waiting for a human to die? It made no sense, there was no _motive_ to it just waiting…

"_You never told me your name," _Ryuk said, interrupting his train of thought.

"You don't know?"

"_Of course I know already. I can see it. It's still polite to ask, though. Isn't it, Lawliet?"_

I felt a shiver run down my spine at my name. "Does Light-kun know?"

"_If you're referring to your name, no."_

"He didn't have me killed directly, then. Misa Amane?"

"_No. It was Rem."_ Ryuk's face dropped at this. _"She's dead."_

I blinked. "I wasn't aware it was possible for shinigami to die."

"_Shinigami can die. We can die from not collecting any souls, but there are other ways as well. If I did something to extend the lifespan of a human – " _Ryuk drew a line across his neck with a fingernail.

I got the message, although I strongly suspected there were things Ryuk wasn't telling me.

He stood up, and stretched. _"I'm going to find apples."_

Ryuk phased through the wall with a _tzuk_ sound before I could protest. I sighed, and sat down next to Light.

"What am I going to do with you, Light-kun…"

* * *

I quickly discovered that the mere minor drawback of being dead did not prevent me from feeling hungry. On the contrary, I was starving by the time Light woke up screaming my name. Ryuk wasn't there; it took him quite a while to calm down. My attempts to help did not work, although strangely enough, he still seemed to respond when I touched him. Eventually, he managed to get back to sleep, leaving me awake with my grumbling stomach for company.

…wait… there was my secret stash of Pocky under Light's bed.

How frustrating.

I attempted to reach for it. It moved, slightly, which surprised me. I tentatively reached out for it again.

This time, it didn't even wobble.

I glared at it, then reached out for it again, my chain clanking gently against Light's bed. _This_ time, my hand gripped it, and I managed to remove said foodstuff from its hiding place. _Perfect,_ I thought, and smiled.

It seemed I needed to focus in order to interact with anything solid. That was fine. It just meant I had to pay attention –

Light groaned in his sleep, reaching down for the floor, his arm searching for something or other. His hand found my box of Pocky, and came back up with it under my horrified gaze. It was hidden beneath the blanket and hugged tightly with a contented sigh.

_Great._ I desperately racked my brain for ideas relating to food, when there was a slight ripping noise as Light opened the box in his sleep.

I reached out to grab it. Unfortunately, it slipped between my fingers, waking Light up once more, who jolted awake, spilling my Pocky onto the floor.

"No!"

"Huh?" Light focused on the Pocky that was currently on the floor, and sighed. "Ryuu – " He stopped halfway through saying my name, and shut his eyes, counting to five silently.

During this period, I rescued as many of the chocolate-coated biscuit sticks as I could, invoking the traditional 10-second rule and depositing them temporarily on the table. Now I just had to pray Light wouldn't spot them there.

Light opened his eyes again in time to see what would appear, to him, to be a stick of Pocky floating off the ground. I hastily dropped it, making silent promises that it would not be wasted.

He shook his head, then started picking up the food and putting it back into its container, leaving one last stick out to eat before placing it on the table.

Light removed the chocolate from the Pocky in the darkness. I suspect at this point he may have been crying, although Pocky was, in general, supposed to make you feel _better_ than before. It was probably the attached memories that came with it.

"L, you idiot… why did you have to be right…" He hit his pillow, hard, before smacking his head down against it.

And I sat next to him awkwardly, crouched on the floor, watching.

It seemed I was stuck as Kira's_ second_ guardian angel for now.

* * *

I finished off the rest of the Pocky while he was sleeping. It filled something of a hole in my stomach, at least. How was it even possible for a dead person to feel hungry, I didn't know. Where the food actually _went _was another puzzle to be solved, since I quickly discovered the lack of need to use a toilet.

The irritating thing was that I was still chained to Light. This came with the downside that I was unable to explore freely. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that Ryuk would refuse to answer me whilst Light was awake, and there was nobody else I could talk to. I attempted to drag Light by his end of the chain, but was unsuccessful at getting him to move. This only caused me pain, pulling the chain away from my chest and leaving the beginnings of a hole.

* * *

Currently, I was attending my own funeral. Or, rather, my gravestone. There had been a cremation, actually, but there had been some trouble since nobody had really known what to say, nobody knowing me well enough other than Watari, and he was dead as well. I silently hoped that he had gone somewhere better than I had.

The name I had been buried under was Ryuuzaki.

Light had been shopping earlier, with Ryuk following. He now produced a shiny red apple from the bag, and threw it to Ryuk. "Could I have some… private time?"

Ryuk shrugged, _"Sure." _He soared off into the sky, dwindling to a dark blotch on the sky as Light rummaged in his bag for something else.

It turned out to be the vanilla cheesecake he'd bought earlier.

I stared as he carefully removed it from its packaging, and placed it onto a paper plate before cutting it precisely into sixths with a plastic knife. He placed one piece onto a separate plate, then put it down next to my headstone.

"An offering?" I asked. "For me…"

"I'm sorry it had to be like this, L," Light said quietly. "Maybe if it'd been different and you hadn't got so close, you'd still be here. But… I didn't want this." He laughed humourlessly. "I don't know why I'm doing this…"

Light sat down, as I perched on the headstone. "Ryuk told me something a while ago. He told me, _Humans who use the Death Note can't go to heaven or hell._ I just took that to mean that there _isn't_ a heaven or hell for us. For _anyone_." He took a breath at this. "I'm just hoping you went somewhere better."

"…not really."

Light looked down at the cheesecake, as I followed his gaze. "I thought I'd leave you cheesecake. You kept going to the fridge to raid it for Phish Food ice cream and vanilla cheesecake at midnight, and waking me up." He almost smiled. "This is probably really stupid."

"_I don't think so."_ Ryuk's voice caused Light to jump and turn around.

"I thought I asked you to go!" Light yelled angrily.

"_You asked for private time. I gave you private time." _Ryuk paused._ "I thought you wanted him dead anyway?"_

Light was silent at this. Since he was currently not facing me, I lifted up the cheesecake and bit into it, before putting it back down whilst I chewed.

Creamy, sugary, crunchy goodness had never tasted so wonderful before.

Light picked up the remaining cheesecake, and put it away, then started to leave.

I glared at him, then decided I wasn't leaving. Besides, it would answer a little question that I currently had. I gripped the headstone firmly, bracing myself against the pain I knew would come next.

There are no real words to describe the feeling of the hollowification process. The closest analogy I could possibly come to it is this one; imagine someone first managed to place their hands in their flesh, take hold of your sternum, and then attempted to rip it out of you.

I suspect strongly at some point I may have started screaming, only stopping when I bit my tongue.

The only thing I could do was hold on to the headstone and hope.

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	2. Chapter 2: Hollow

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_

By the way, if anybody has written _The Shinigami's Handbook,_ or knows somebody who has done something similar to it, please let me know and give me the link!

In advance warning... I'm human, before anyone asks. And I may _look_ like L's female equivalent, but unfortunately, I'm not a genius (although I do my best). As a result, further chapter updates will be fairly sporadic, especially during school holidays.

For those who want a full description of L's current state, think Mucierlago's second release completed. The helmet is closest to that of the second release, except with the other half there, and a mask across the front with dark tear marks running down from the eyeholes all the way to the base of the mask, in a similar manner to Ulquiorra's facial markings.

_

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_

_Hollow: a spirit that has not been reached in time by a shinigami to be sent to Soul Society. These creatures are human spirits who have lost their hearts, either by the corruption of the broken Chain of Fate or the separation of the Chain of Fate from the place where it is attached to the soul's body, leaving behind a distinctive hollow or hole that gives these creatures their name. The other main distinguishing feature of hollows is the white mask, which covers the face in order to protect the hollow's exposed instincts. In general, hollows' primary instinct is to attempt to 'fill' the hole by consuming other spirits. Generally, these are plus and other hollows, although when a hollow is first formed, its instinct is to hunt down and eat the souls of relatives or close ones left behind in the living world, in order to appease its anguish. With every spirit consumed, the hollow gains power, and if enough souls are consumed, the hollow may evolve, changing its appearance completely (cref. _Menos Grande, Gillian, Adjucha, Vasto Lorde _and _Arrancar_)._

_Hollows are dangerous to shinigami due to the fact that they particularly seek out souls with high reiatsu, such as shinigami outside of a gigai, although they will also favour humans who have above-average levels of reiatsu before other normal souls. Hollows who did not kill whilst they were human can be purified and sent on to Soul Society by a blow from a Soul Cutter which shatters their mask. However, hollows who killed as a human cannot be purified of their sins, and are sent to Hell after their mask has been shattered._

_-The Shinigami's Handbook_

* * *

Darkness. Silence.

Light wasn't there.

I straightened up.

My range of vision was limited, since there appeared to be something covering my face. However, I appeared to be in a desert; all I could see was sand, and a single leafless tree on the horizon.

Wherever this was, it definitely didn't look like heaven.

Sand crunched under my feet. I looked down at the slight noise to note that said feet were currently black, furred and taloned, as opposed to pink… well… white, then, in my case… with toes.

What had happened to me?

_Perhaps I have become a shinigami._

It wasn't a good thought.

I raised my hands to my face, only to discover that they were in a similar state. Lifting them up to my face, I then discovered that there appeared to be some kind of mask covering me, or perhaps a helmet with two sets of horns and a ridge running down the centre. The texture, as far as I could tell, was similar to that of bone. Inclining my head further revealed a hole in my chest, in the exact same position that the chain had been attached to beforehand.

"What am I?" I asked aloud.

_Cold. Empty… Hollow. _The voice resonated in my head strangely.

I heard sand sliding behind me, and turned around to see a creature emerging from a sinkhole. A reptilian creature with a horned white mask covering its face, its sharp silver claws scrabbling for purchase on the sand.

"Kekekeke…" Red eyes locked with mine as the creature laughed. "Fresh meat today! Unlucky, unlucky…" It raised its head, and shrieked, a loud sound that echoed around the desert.

There was a scuffling from behind me once more, as three more similar creatures crawled out of the sand. I was now surrounded.

"Stay still," one of them hissed as it advanced towards me, "and this won't have to hurt too much."

"Or you could run," another added. "It's always more fun when they try to escape us. They never get far."

* * *

_Jump_

* * *

As one, they leapt. And so did I.

There was a slight jerk as they caught hold of me, and I was soaring above them, one of the lizard-creatures currently clinging tightly onto my right foot. It screamed, dangling by my foot as the previously unnoticed wings on my back worked overtime to keep the two of us airborne. It was exhilarating.

"Let me go!" it screamed, terrified. "Wait, don't let me goooo!"

Down below, the other three were circling, following my movements.

"You can't stay up there forever," they called.

"Don't let me go oh God _don't let me go –_ " The creature currently clinging to my leg bit down, hard.

I kicked instinctively.

Blood trailed from my leg as the creature fell down, throwing up a plume of sand where it landed. There was an audible crack as it impacted.

Its remaining three comrades howled and sped up, chasing me from below.

_They're right. I can't keep this up forever._ With the considerable lessening of my burden, it was considerably easier to fly, but I was still tiring nonetheless.

There were three of them, one of me. They were landbound, but experienced in fighting from the looks of things. I was neither of these things, in a body whose strengths and weaknesses I knew nothing of. The lone tree I could see was not tall enough to be unclimbable by the creatures, and if I landed, it was more than probable that they would attempt to rip me to pieces. Whether or not I would be able to fight them was not something I wanted to find out desperately, which left cunning.

I picked up altitude.

* * *

Riutz stared upwards, flicking his armoured tail in annoyance. "Damn hollow's going higher now," he growled as he followed its path from underneath.

Voratz kept his eyes on the hollow as he tracked it. It was just about visible from the ground, although surely it should be running out of strength by now… and then the pack would close in.

"Don't worry, Gryutz," he muttered under his breath. "We'll make the food _pay_ for you before we eat."

"Hey, where's he gone?" Juitz yelled.

The twilight sky of Hueco Mundo was empty, devoid of the previously visible dark speck that had been their prey. Voratz swivelled his head round frantically, searching the skies for the hollow as his brothers did the same.

"Aww, jeez! The bastard managed to get _away?_" Riutz cursed. "Useless – "

There was a slight shift in the sand behind him, followed by a swift _crack_. Juitz and Voratz's heads snapped round to see the helmeted hollow's tail retracting itself from around Riutz's now-broken neck.

Riutz slid slowly to the ground to reveal the black hollow, standing behind him.

Green eyes stared impassively from behind its mask as Juitz and Voratz lunged in unison. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD – "

* * *

My talons raked the creature's side deeply, ripping it wide open and leaving a trail of dark blood on the air. I sidestepped quickly as the other one continued, barrelling into me. It didn't impact directly, but nevertheless knocked me off balance –

* * *

_Let me._

* * *

Voratz backed off, limping, dripping blood as Juitz snarled. The dark hollow straightened up, then flexed its talons.

"He did better than I expected, actually," it – _he – _mused, apparently to himself.

"Asshole. You're going _down._" Juitz prepared himself, his claws beginning to secrete the deadly poison that had brought down so many others before. The only difficulty was that it made meat taste _terrible…_

He leapt, jaws and claws closing down –

On thin air, and a hollow who had moved faster than was possible had now vanished, only to appear behind him.

It punched a hole in his chest, just below his neck, as Juitz stared at the spiked fist now protruding from his body.

"Trash," he heard the hollow murmur, before everything faded.

* * *

Voratz lay wounded on the sand, panting as he was forced to watch the strange hollow slaughter his brothers and devour them. He attempted to move, but his back left leg was dead and the front left leg wouldn't respond, either.

The hollow turned to him, bright emerald eyes watching his attempts to get back up with mild curiosity. Voratz glared at the creature as it stepped over to him, tensing his muscles in order to swipe when it got close enough.

He reached out, only to have his right leg pinned down by the other hollow's foot in such a manner that promised an awful lot of pain if further movement was attempted in any way, shape or form.

"Get it over with."

"Not yet." The hollow leaned forward, placing one hand on Voratz's neck. "I can make this quick, or painful. You choose."

"Quick." He swallowed as the pressure on his neck was decreased slightly.

"Then answer my questions."

"Sure. Sure." He realised he was babbling, then stopped. "What questions?"

"What are you?"

Voratz started laughing, hard, until the other creature's talons squeezed hard around his neck. "You mean you don't _know?_"

"My offer can be rescinded at any time." The grip shifted a little more, pricking his neck and causing a drop of blood to well up and drop onto the sand.

"I'm a hollow."

"Hollow," he mused. "Then what am I?"

"Some crazy ass powerful hollow?" he tried.

"Were you human?"

"_What?!_"

"It's a simple question. _Were you ever human?_"

"How the hell would I know? I don't remember!" he yelled in despair.

"Nothing?" The other hollow tilted its head, then sighed. "Very well."

There was a crack as the hollow twisted, hard.

* * *

I had been entirely aware of what had been happening, despite the fact that I had not been in control.

_Who are you?_

The control of my body was relinquished to myself once more, leaving me alone in the desert again.

_Who are you? _I asked again.

_Don't you remember me, L? It's Beyond Birthday._

I repressed a slight shudder at the memory of hunting my lookalike. _Why did you… _I hesitated. _Eat them?_

_Because we were hungry. They were weak, and would have done the same had they managed to catch us. _I noted the use of the plural first person at this point.

It _was_ true that I was now – marginally, admittedly – less hungry. Unfortunately, that still wasn't saying much compared to my original state. I needed sugar. Or something more filling than this.

_Did you expect Candy Mountain? _Beyond said sarcastically.

_Hardly. However, this leads me to conclude that there_ is_ no God. Either that, or He has very bad taste in afterlives._

Beyond scoffed._ It took you this long to figure that out?_

_No, it took me this long to confirm it with 100% certainty. Although there is still the possibility that God is a sadistic being…_

I turned round. No direction looked particularly favourable, although there was the tree…

Closer inspection proved that it was made of some kind of quartz. While it supported my weight, it was brittle and snapped if I exerted too much force on the thinner branches. Nonetheless, it would still be safer than sleeping on the ground.

I perched on the thickest branch of the bare rock, and attempted to sleep on a slightly-less-empty-than-before stomach. This was somewhat hampered by the fact that it continued to make growling noises. Nevertheless, I drifted off anyway.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3: Within

_Inner world: This is the name for the 'world' that zanpakuto (cref. _Soul Cutter_) occupy in a Shinigami's soul. The inner world reflects the Shinigami's feelings and moods, and is the place where the true shape of a zanpakuto can be seen, although it is also possible for the spirit of a zanpakuto to be brought into the 'real world' by artificial means. It is thought it might also be possible for other things to inhabit the inner world, such as multiple personalities that have developed to such a point as to lead a semi-separate existence. In the case of separate personalities, this can be highly dangerous if the shinigami in question loses or relinquishes control to the personality, as the shinigami may then be trapped in the inner world in place of the personality, unable to interact with the outside world._

_-The Shinigami's Handbook_

* * *

I was back in the skyscraper in Japan at nighttime, the same place I'd worked on the Kira case. Tiny lights were visible below, streetlamps as well as other buildings stealing the skyline. The room was in semi-darkness, illuminated only by the light coming from the screen of my faithful Macintosh, still waiting for me.

I was human again.

Had this been a sugar-induced nightmare?

The room was empty, with nobody else here; if this was real, then there would be more people here working on the Kira case. I sat down in front of the computer, my hand selecting several options with decisive clicks of the mouse. The security cameras readily submitted to my inspection, showing that the building was completely empty other than for my own presence.

I walked over to the glass wall, pressing my face against it. While I could see streetlights down below, there were no cars making their way along the roads, no people walking down the streets. I couldn't see any signs of life at all.

My eyes drifted across the room to the white object sitting in the corner.

I picked it up, turned it over in my hands.

It appeared to be a helmet, similar to a samurai helmet in a way. There were two pairs of 'horns', one set larger than the other, and a ridge running down the centre of the head, all the way down to the separate segments attached to the base.

The front of the helmet was a mask, held in by an extension of the helmet's ridge, as well as two longer protrusions under the eyeholes. With a little jiggling, it slid out from the helmet itself, allowing me to inspect it properly.

It was the same material as the helmet itself – what I suspected to be bone of some kind – with teal tear lines running down from the eyes to its base, only interrupted by a row of sharp teeth and giving it the appearance of weeping.

I slid it back up into the helmet until the two clicked into place once more.

It disturbed me, because this object was the same in feel as the helmet I had been wearing before. I lifted it over my head, and hesitated before sliding it on.

It fitted perfectly.

Quickly, I removed it. The object was disturbing, to say the least.

I heard footsteps, and turned round to see my doppelgänger enter the room with a jar of strawberry jam resting on one arm and a white object under the other.

"Hello, L."

"Beyond," I said calmly. My focus quickly shifted to the jam as he sat down opposite me, behind the computer.

_It has real strawberries!_

"…where did the jam come from?"

No answer. His red gaze was fixed on the jam as he unscrewed the lid, then carefully dipped a teaspoon in, removing the crimson goodness.

"Could I have jam, please?" I asked politely.

"Of course you can, L."

I waited as B lifted the spoon to his lips, and ate.

I continued to wait, then realised the mistake in my phrasing.

"_Will_ you give me jam?"

"No."

My stomach rumbled as I glared at him.

Beyond smirked. "You can't have the jam."

I pouted. "Why not?"

"It's metaphorical jam. It doesn't exist."

"Then do I get the strawberries instead?"

Beyond sighed. "Have you ever wondered why we look so alike?"

"…once or twice," I said, wondering where this was leading to.

"Well, you see," Beyond elaborated, eyes shining, "it's actually because we were twin brothers that were separated at birth!"

"I fail to see the relevance of – "

"_And_¸" he interrupted, "it explains everything about us. We both ended up in Wammy's House together, in London, in England. The same country and city! Think about it." He sat back, pleased.

"…that is irrelevant to strawberries."

"Ah, but you see," he continued, raising a finger, "have you read the psychological study that implies that twins are, in fact, the separation of a single personality into two separate halves, which is why the 'nature versus nurture' experiment worked?"

I sighed. "B… that study was never fully researched."

"It stated that with every pair of twins, there is a 'good' twin and a 'bad' twin." His fingers made air quotes as he carried on. "And of course, _you're_ the good twin, since you ended up a detective, which leaves me to be the bad twin." Beyond paused to dip the spoon back into the jam. "Which means that I, as the bad twin, cannot just _give_ you the jam, or the strawberries. Even if they existed."

I narrowed my eyes. "But if the jam doesn't exist, the fact that you are successfully interacting with it would imply that you, also, do not exist and are therefore subject to the laws of this world, which I suspect strongly is my dream. Therefore, I am in charge, and I order you, Beyond, to give. Me. The. Jam."

Beyond stuck out his tongue.

I glared at him, made a swift calculation based on his balance, and lunged for the jam, managing to knock the breath out of him with a surprised hiss. The glass jar fell out of his grip as I scrabbled to catch it, just before I was pinned down.

It hit the wall with a _clink._

"Move off me," I growled.

"You left all my jam on the carpet!"

I pushed myself up off the floor as Beyond rescued his precious jam. There was now a long, bright red splatter mark on the white carpet.

Beyond glared at me venomously with eyes to match. "You spilled my jam."

"Most of it is still in the jar," I pointed out.

His glare intensified, then his face split into a wicked grin. "Perhaps I should use _this_, then," he proclaimed, removing the white object from under his arm.

"What is that?" I asked warily. It appeared to be a plushie of some variety.

"It's you," Beyond noted happily.

I stared at the plushie. It was wearing what looked like half of a broken version of the helmet currently next to the computer, was stark white with dark hair and bright green eyes, and appeared to be crying.

"… I don't look anything like this."

"It's a 'five years time' plushie," he added.

"B…I don't have green eyes."

Beyond stared at me. "Yes, you do."

"…I'm pretty sure they were brown last time I checked."

He shrugged. "Well, I suppose they could be brown. But then grass would have to be brown, and mud would be green."

I studied his face. There was no indication that he was lying; however, I had never expected there to be in the first place.

"There's a mirror in the bathroom if you want to have a look," he offered helpfully, as I got up.

I followed him down the dark hallway. The schematics of this building were subtly different from the building I had worked in for so long. For one thing, there were no cameras that I had seen, despite the numerous video feeds of the building on the computer.

But then, if this was all in my head, there wouldn't need to be, would there…

Beyond stepped into the second doorway on the left, and reached up to the wall to flick the light switch.

I blinked as light reached my eyes, revealing a white-tiled bathroom complete with shower, toilet, and sink, above which hung a mirror.

Beyond hung back as I approached it.

Green.

I peeled back my eyelids and leaned in for a closer inspection.

Still green.

The colour commonly referred to as emerald, maybe, if one wanted to be particularly descriptive, but definitely not the same dark brown as before.

A check for contacts revealed nothing, as did further poking.

"Done yet?" Beyond asked, resting his head on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, counted to five, and opened them again to see the exact same thing as before I closed them.

"It's a pretty shade of green," he noted conversationally, shifting his head slightly into a more uncomfortable position for me. "It goes well with the red."

I paused. "Red?"

Beyond nodded, digging his chin into my shoulder. He lifted one hand to a foot above my head, tracing invisible letters on the air with his index finger.

"Lucian Lawliet," he murmured, his eyes watching something I couldn't see before shifting down slightly back to my reflection in the mirror. "Of course, the numbers are negative counting up. I always wondered about that…"

I stared, uncomprehending for a few seconds before it finally clicked into place. "You can see lifespans?"

"Names too. They're all red."

…_that would explain his eyes. Shinigami eyes… although then he'd have to have a Death Note in his possession, and that wouldn't make sense…_

"Negative?" I asked, curiously.

"Well…" Beyond said slowly, "surprising as it may seem… we're _dead._"

"Or I hallucinated the last day or so, and am still under the effects of hallucinogenic drugs," I mused.

B's eyes flared, as he hit me. Hard.

"That was unnecessary," I pouted, rubbing the soon-to-be-bruise.

"Are you satisfied that this is at least partway real now?"

"Yes, thank you." I paused. "We?"

"Yes. We. First person plural pronoun."

"Kira had you killed?"

"Obviously."

This was cause to be worried. Further digging into our pasts would reveal the entirety of the truth of Wammy's House, and with it Near, Mello, Matt and the other surviving children there. And _that_ would give all the information necessary to prevent anyone from stopping Kira…

…which didn't bear thinking about.

I needed to stop Light.

"Is the white clothing symbolic of something?" I asked, gesturing at the plushie.

He shrugged. "It looks like an inverse shinigami uniform."

"I wasn't aware shinigami _had_ a regular uniform."

"Black with white trim," he commented, twirling the plushie in his hands and arranging its limbs in a way I wasn't entirely comfortable with.

"Ryuk wasn't wearing that…"

Beyond gave me a curious look. "Ryuk isn't a shinigami."

_That changes a _lot_ of things. _"What is he, then?"

He shrugged. "Don't know."

"How do you even know Ryuk?"

Beyond stared at me, his eyes wide. "How did you think my eyes got like this?"

I was about to ask whether Beyond had ever owned a Death Note, which seemed unlikely given the respect of his murders, when I felt a sharp tugging sensation at the base of my spine.

Beyond smiled and waved. "Ding-dong," he sang. "Somebody's calling."

"Wait!" I cried, just as everything disappeared and I woke up.


End file.
